Dear Sydney,
Good morning! You had such a wonderful night last night. You went to bed at 10:30 and didn't wake up until 6 to eat and then you fell right back to sleep until 9 a.m. Last night was your first night of sleeping in your own bed the whole night through. I used to have you sleep with us because I was so worried that it was easier for me to have you right next to me. Then after a few weeks of doing that I decided that I was being ridiculous and so we started putting you in your own bed until you would wake up and then I'd just pull you into bed with us. Then yesterday I decided that I was going to see if you and I could make it if we both slept where we were supposed to sleep...and we did! I knew that you could handle it but it was me that I was worried about. And it wasn't that bad. It was kind of nice to have a little extra space. :)
We went to take our family pictures last night and the minute we got outside to do them, it started pouring rain! It was a bummer but we rescheduled to take them tonight so hopefully we have better luck this time...we'll see! As I have mentioned before, Brandon Bishop is taking our pictures. He has a photography blog called brandonscustomimagesblog.blogspot.com It has a few pictures of Sydney on there and he lists his prices if anyone is ever in need of a photographer. Check it out!
You are eating better now. Well, sort of. You used to eat about 1 ounce and then fall asleep for 20-30 minutes then wake up and eat what was left in your bottle. The doctor said you would sleep because eating is so exhausting for you. But the last couple of days you have been eaitng your whole bottle in one sitting! You don't fall asleep. The amount you eat is still not where it used to be but at least you don't fall asleep halfway through. It may be a small improvement but hey, it's still an improvement.
Well, it's time to get ready for the day. You and I are both in our pajamas still. How embarrassing. :) I love that you are my little buddy. It's so nice to have you around.
All my love, Mom
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Dear Sydney,
It is 12:15 at night and I couldn't let myself go to bed without writing on your blog. So, here I am typing on the computer as you and Dad are fast asleep. We finally scheduled your surgery today! Me and Linda (that is the name of the woman who scheduled it with me) have become quite good friends. Ha. She was very nice and was so willing to answer all of my questions. Surgery will be on August 10 and you will have to go in for another pre-op the day before on August 9. Yes, you will have two pre-ops. One about a week before surgery and the other a day before surgery. I think we'll all be glad when our time at Primary Children's will be over.
The surgeons don't just treat you like another random person that walks through their doors. Linda told me that every wednesday morning the surgeons get together for a conference and discuss the patients they will be working with in the near future. As a team of surgeons, they all discuss each patient individually and how to best meet each one's needs. Linda said that they will be discussing you, Sydney, and that if the doctors decide to do anything different then she will be giving me a call to let me know. My experience so far with Primary has been nothing but amazing. Dr. Judd is incredible and all of the secretaries I have spoken to have been very helpful and well educated in the hospital procedures. I have never felt like they didn't know what they were talking about.
We are getting family pictures taken tomorrow. I am so excited. We are taking them at an old barn and in a wheat field. It will be beautiful. I will be sure to post the pictures once I have them.
Well, my bed is calling my name. I love you.
Love Always, Mom
It is 12:15 at night and I couldn't let myself go to bed without writing on your blog. So, here I am typing on the computer as you and Dad are fast asleep. We finally scheduled your surgery today! Me and Linda (that is the name of the woman who scheduled it with me) have become quite good friends. Ha. She was very nice and was so willing to answer all of my questions. Surgery will be on August 10 and you will have to go in for another pre-op the day before on August 9. Yes, you will have two pre-ops. One about a week before surgery and the other a day before surgery. I think we'll all be glad when our time at Primary Children's will be over.
The surgeons don't just treat you like another random person that walks through their doors. Linda told me that every wednesday morning the surgeons get together for a conference and discuss the patients they will be working with in the near future. As a team of surgeons, they all discuss each patient individually and how to best meet each one's needs. Linda said that they will be discussing you, Sydney, and that if the doctors decide to do anything different then she will be giving me a call to let me know. My experience so far with Primary has been nothing but amazing. Dr. Judd is incredible and all of the secretaries I have spoken to have been very helpful and well educated in the hospital procedures. I have never felt like they didn't know what they were talking about.
We are getting family pictures taken tomorrow. I am so excited. We are taking them at an old barn and in a wheat field. It will be beautiful. I will be sure to post the pictures once I have them.
Well, my bed is calling my name. I love you.
Love Always, Mom
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Dear Sydney,
Wow. I have really been slacking lately when it comes to writing on your blog everyday. Oops. Usually, if I haven't written anything for the day, it means we are off having fun or we were just too tired to get to writing on the blog. I promise, there is nothing wrong and nothing bad has happened to keep me from updating it.
I'll start with an update about your surgery. The scheduling people from Primary Children's called me a few days ago and wanted to schedule your Pre-Op before the surgery. The doctor wants it done one week before the surgery. It has to be done down at Primary Childrens. They will be performing a sedated EKG, echocardiogram, and two other tests that I can't remember the name of. But, because we haven't been able to schedule your actual surgery yet, we couldn't schedule your pre-op. She said the surgeon's office should be in contact with us soon to schedule the surgery and then she would be calling us again. Whew... there is a lot of calling going on.
We had a lot of fun on Saturday. We went to Aunt April's basketball game. It was fun to be with Cori, Colin, Brian, Lacy, April, and the cousins. We have so much fun together. Then we went home to feed you...which is when you decided to puke. At least we were somewhere where we could give you a bath or else you would have been one stinky girl! We then went to a BBQ with my Aunt and Uncle who were in town visiting their kids. It was there that Uncle Mark took a bunch of pictures of you. He did such a great job that I had to share them.
After the BBQ you experienced your first Drive-In movie. We didn't want you to get cold so we bundled you up with your cute Nike beanie, your jammies, and about a billion layers of blankets.
You slept the entire time in my arms. We watched Knight and Day which wasn't too bad of a movie.
I think we would have liked it more if we saw it in a place where we weren't so distracted by other cars and people and the fact that we couldn't really see the movie very well on the screen. You were a hit, though. Everyone thought you looked so cute in your hat along with your Dad. He loves it when you wear that hat.
Here are some other random pictures that I wanted to show you. One is of me and you when we fell asleep together on the couch. Another is of your Dad holding you while he is doing his homework and you are hardly wearing anything because it was so hot. The other ones are just cute...and I love to look at cute pictures!
You have been using your voice more and more which I love. Any mother, I'm sure, loves to hear the sound of her own children. You track things with your eyes really well and you kick your arms and legs more often. With every day that goes by I see more and more growth in your abilities. Keep it up. I love you.
Love, Mom
Wow. I have really been slacking lately when it comes to writing on your blog everyday. Oops. Usually, if I haven't written anything for the day, it means we are off having fun or we were just too tired to get to writing on the blog. I promise, there is nothing wrong and nothing bad has happened to keep me from updating it.
I'll start with an update about your surgery. The scheduling people from Primary Children's called me a few days ago and wanted to schedule your Pre-Op before the surgery. The doctor wants it done one week before the surgery. It has to be done down at Primary Childrens. They will be performing a sedated EKG, echocardiogram, and two other tests that I can't remember the name of. But, because we haven't been able to schedule your actual surgery yet, we couldn't schedule your pre-op. She said the surgeon's office should be in contact with us soon to schedule the surgery and then she would be calling us again. Whew... there is a lot of calling going on.
We had a lot of fun on Saturday. We went to Aunt April's basketball game. It was fun to be with Cori, Colin, Brian, Lacy, April, and the cousins. We have so much fun together. Then we went home to feed you...which is when you decided to puke. At least we were somewhere where we could give you a bath or else you would have been one stinky girl! We then went to a BBQ with my Aunt and Uncle who were in town visiting their kids. It was there that Uncle Mark took a bunch of pictures of you. He did such a great job that I had to share them.
After the BBQ you experienced your first Drive-In movie. We didn't want you to get cold so we bundled you up with your cute Nike beanie, your jammies, and about a billion layers of blankets.
You slept the entire time in my arms. We watched Knight and Day which wasn't too bad of a movie.
I think we would have liked it more if we saw it in a place where we weren't so distracted by other cars and people and the fact that we couldn't really see the movie very well on the screen. You were a hit, though. Everyone thought you looked so cute in your hat along with your Dad. He loves it when you wear that hat.
Here are some other random pictures that I wanted to show you. One is of me and you when we fell asleep together on the couch. Another is of your Dad holding you while he is doing his homework and you are hardly wearing anything because it was so hot. The other ones are just cute...and I love to look at cute pictures!
You have been using your voice more and more which I love. Any mother, I'm sure, loves to hear the sound of her own children. You track things with your eyes really well and you kick your arms and legs more often. With every day that goes by I see more and more growth in your abilities. Keep it up. I love you.
Love, Mom
Friday, June 25, 2010
Dear Sydney,
You are loved by so many. I hope you know it and can feel it. Today we got to spend time with your cousins, Aunt Heather, and Uncle Lance. It was so fun. We walked to a canal that was close by and fed the ducks. Then we walked over to the park and
watched as Paige and Summer rode on the carousel. Afterwards, we ate lunch in the park. It was a perfect afternoon to say the least. Paige and Summer couldn't get enough of you. They helped me decide what clothes you were going to wear and what bow we were going to put in your hair. They love you so much.
Tonight you, your Dad, and I sat outside as we watched lightning strike one after another. We have never seen anything like it. Every portion of the sky was being lit up by quick pulses of lightning bolts. It was truly amazing. You thought it was pretty neat too. You sat there with wide eyes and watched the bright lights.
I almost don't want to say it because the minute I vocalize it I feel like I am going to jinx us but you have been eating really good today. I am so proud of you! Which reminds me...yesterday we went to the doctor and YOU DID IT! You weighed EXACTLY 8 lbs. 12 oz. Nothing more, nothing less. What a good girl you are. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for our family. The prayers are working. You go in again next thursday and by then you should weigh 8 lbs. 15 oz. You can do it!
You fell asleep as I have been typing this. You look beautiful. You are wearing a bracelet that Aunt Mandi made you and a hair bow that Aunt Cori made you and you are sleeping in a blanket that Grandma Moon made for you. See. You really are loved by so many. Including me. I love you Sydney.
You are loved by so many. I hope you know it and can feel it. Today we got to spend time with your cousins, Aunt Heather, and Uncle Lance. It was so fun. We walked to a canal that was close by and fed the ducks. Then we walked over to the park and
watched as Paige and Summer rode on the carousel. Afterwards, we ate lunch in the park. It was a perfect afternoon to say the least. Paige and Summer couldn't get enough of you. They helped me decide what clothes you were going to wear and what bow we were going to put in your hair. They love you so much. Tonight you, your Dad, and I sat outside as we watched lightning strike one after another. We have never seen anything like it. Every portion of the sky was being lit up by quick pulses of lightning bolts. It was truly amazing. You thought it was pretty neat too. You sat there with wide eyes and watched the bright lights.
I almost don't want to say it because the minute I vocalize it I feel like I am going to jinx us but you have been eating really good today. I am so proud of you! Which reminds me...yesterday we went to the doctor and YOU DID IT! You weighed EXACTLY 8 lbs. 12 oz. Nothing more, nothing less. What a good girl you are. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for our family. The prayers are working. You go in again next thursday and by then you should weigh 8 lbs. 15 oz. You can do it!
You fell asleep as I have been typing this. You look beautiful. You are wearing a bracelet that Aunt Mandi made you and a hair bow that Aunt Cori made you and you are sleeping in a blanket that Grandma Moon made for you. See. You really are loved by so many. Including me. I love you Sydney.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Dear Sydney,
I never got around to writing about your day yesterday- sorry 'bout that! We had a busy day so I was never able to find the time to sit down and write. I enjoy writing so I missed doing it as much as you miss reading it! Yesterday you got to spend a lot of time with your Dad. He came home after class so he could watch you as I went to the temple. And then you spent more time together while I was at a relief society activity. Then we all three went and cleaned the seminary building. Yes, Syd, we pay the bills by cleaning a building and grading papers for a teacher at BYUI. It's very comical.
Today you go in for your weight check. I'll be curious to see if you hit our goal of 8 lbs. 12 oz. Later on tonight your Aunt Heather and her family will be stopping by to see us. They are on their way to a family reunion in Yellowstone so they wanted to come say hello. We are so excited. All of your cousins on the Hessing side of the family call you "Cindy" because the little ones have a hard time pronouncing "Sydney". So I think it has just rubbed off on everyone to call you Cindy. I think its pretty cute.
I wanted to put up some pictures that a man in our ward took of you. You weren't even a week old yet. The photographer's name is Brandon Bishop. If someone is ever in need of a good photographer, look him up! You won't be disappointed. He did such a great job and you are just too cute! You have grown so much...well kind of.
And here you are this morning. You are falling asleep so you look a little drunk...but that very well may be because of your medicine. Who knows!
I love you! Love, Mom
I never got around to writing about your day yesterday- sorry 'bout that! We had a busy day so I was never able to find the time to sit down and write. I enjoy writing so I missed doing it as much as you miss reading it! Yesterday you got to spend a lot of time with your Dad. He came home after class so he could watch you as I went to the temple. And then you spent more time together while I was at a relief society activity. Then we all three went and cleaned the seminary building. Yes, Syd, we pay the bills by cleaning a building and grading papers for a teacher at BYUI. It's very comical.
Today you go in for your weight check. I'll be curious to see if you hit our goal of 8 lbs. 12 oz. Later on tonight your Aunt Heather and her family will be stopping by to see us. They are on their way to a family reunion in Yellowstone so they wanted to come say hello. We are so excited. All of your cousins on the Hessing side of the family call you "Cindy" because the little ones have a hard time pronouncing "Sydney". So I think it has just rubbed off on everyone to call you Cindy. I think its pretty cute.
I wanted to put up some pictures that a man in our ward took of you. You weren't even a week old yet. The photographer's name is Brandon Bishop. If someone is ever in need of a good photographer, look him up! You won't be disappointed. He did such a great job and you are just too cute! You have grown so much...well kind of.
And here you are this morning. You are falling asleep so you look a little drunk...but that very well may be because of your medicine. Who knows!
I love you! Love, Mom
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Dear Sydney,
Sorry I didn't tell you more about your day yesterday. We were all so tired last night that we just conked right out without me even thinking about updating your blog.
In general, you are doing good. Your appetite is still down although tonight you've been very hungry. I hope this keeps going! You and I had a very productive day. We walked over to the bank to deposit some checks, then to the post office, and then we went to the park. While we were at the park we found a little boy who was no older than 1 1/2 years and he was wandering the park all alone. I looked around and saw no moms nearby. Who did this boy belong to? So we walked around the park asking mom after mom if this was their son and no one recoginzed him. I kept thinking about you and how I would feel if I 
had lost you. I would be so panicked and would hope that someone would take care of you while I tried to find you. So, I decided that we would just stick with the boy until his mom found him. I don't know how much time went by until I turned around and saw a mom pull up on her bike and yell out her son's name. I asked her if this was her son and she said yes! She swept him up and gave him a big hug. I was relieved that she finally found him. I hope that is something I never have to experience with you.
Your Dad, you, and I played a few rounds of croquet tonight. For Father's Day we
gave your Dad a gift card to Big 5 Sporting Goods and he chose to buy a croquet set. Such a good idea! We had fun playing and you enjoyed being outside...even though you slept the whole time. :)
We scheduled your next Dr's appointment with the cardiologist. You see her again on July 20. We called about scheduling your surgery but the scheduling office hasn't received your referral for surgery yet so we have to wait a few more days.
You are such a joy and bring so much love to our family. We love you!
Love forever, Mom
Sorry I didn't tell you more about your day yesterday. We were all so tired last night that we just conked right out without me even thinking about updating your blog.
In general, you are doing good. Your appetite is still down although tonight you've been very hungry. I hope this keeps going! You and I had a very productive day. We walked over to the bank to deposit some checks, then to the post office, and then we went to the park. While we were at the park we found a little boy who was no older than 1 1/2 years and he was wandering the park all alone. I looked around and saw no moms nearby. Who did this boy belong to? So we walked around the park asking mom after mom if this was their son and no one recoginzed him. I kept thinking about you and how I would feel if I 
had lost you. I would be so panicked and would hope that someone would take care of you while I tried to find you. So, I decided that we would just stick with the boy until his mom found him. I don't know how much time went by until I turned around and saw a mom pull up on her bike and yell out her son's name. I asked her if this was her son and she said yes! She swept him up and gave him a big hug. I was relieved that she finally found him. I hope that is something I never have to experience with you. Your Dad, you, and I played a few rounds of croquet tonight. For Father's Day we
gave your Dad a gift card to Big 5 Sporting Goods and he chose to buy a croquet set. Such a good idea! We had fun playing and you enjoyed being outside...even though you slept the whole time. :) We scheduled your next Dr's appointment with the cardiologist. You see her again on July 20. We called about scheduling your surgery but the scheduling office hasn't received your referral for surgery yet so we have to wait a few more days.
You are such a joy and bring so much love to our family. We love you!
Love forever, Mom
Monday, June 21, 2010
Dear Sydney,
I decided to write a little bit this morning so people who care about you and wonder about you are updated. You are doing much better today than yesteday. You have been keeping your food down and you are much more energetic. It is such a sigh of relief. You have been smiling all morning which lets me know you are ok. I love you, Syd!
Love, Mom
I decided to write a little bit this morning so people who care about you and wonder about you are updated. You are doing much better today than yesteday. You have been keeping your food down and you are much more energetic. It is such a sigh of relief. You have been smiling all morning which lets me know you are ok. I love you, Syd!
Love, Mom
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Dear Sydney,
I am worried about you today. You have thrown up twice (not just a little spit up, they are spews). You still aren't eating the way we would hope. Your forehead has been a little sweaty tonight and you aren't acting the way you normally do. If you keep this up throughout the night, we are calling the doctor in the morning just to see what he says. I hope that it's nothing and that I am just over analyzing but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
We celebrated father's day today. We made your dad breakfast this morning before church. For dinner we had Parmesean Chicken which is turning into one of your Dad's new favorites. I love your Dad so much, Syd. He means the world to me and I don't know what I would ever do without him. He is the rock of our family. I, on the other hand, am the one who forgets everything and is ridiculously emotional. And you...well...your are cuasing quite the heartache. Literally. You gave us a good laugh today while you were eating. You had your hand up by your eyes. You looked like you were just completely exhausted by eating (which is all actuality you probably are) but it was just the way you had your hand on your head. Here are the pictures:
Well, my sweet baby girl, I hope tonight goes better for you. I love you.
All my love, Mom
P.S. Dad was taking pictures of you because he thought it looked like you were playing peek-a-boo. You would barely poke your eyes out from under the blanet:
I am worried about you today. You have thrown up twice (not just a little spit up, they are spews). You still aren't eating the way we would hope. Your forehead has been a little sweaty tonight and you aren't acting the way you normally do. If you keep this up throughout the night, we are calling the doctor in the morning just to see what he says. I hope that it's nothing and that I am just over analyzing but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
We celebrated father's day today. We made your dad breakfast this morning before church. For dinner we had Parmesean Chicken which is turning into one of your Dad's new favorites. I love your Dad so much, Syd. He means the world to me and I don't know what I would ever do without him. He is the rock of our family. I, on the other hand, am the one who forgets everything and is ridiculously emotional. And you...well...your are cuasing quite the heartache. Literally. You gave us a good laugh today while you were eating. You had your hand up by your eyes. You looked like you were just completely exhausted by eating (which is all actuality you probably are) but it was just the way you had your hand on your head. Here are the pictures:
Well, my sweet baby girl, I hope tonight goes better for you. I love you.
All my love, Mom
P.S. Dad was taking pictures of you because he thought it looked like you were playing peek-a-boo. You would barely poke your eyes out from under the blanet:
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Dear Sydney,
What an enjoyable day we had today. You are feeling much better so that just automatically made it a good day although your appetite is not quite back to where I would hope. You're only eating about 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 ounces every two hours.
We went shopping for Dad's fathers Day gift. Shh...we can't tell him what it is, it's a secret! And then we came home and picked up your Dad and went to the grocery store. There we bought you a denim jumper, a shirt, and shorts for $8. What a deal! You have been in need of some summer clothes. If you had grown like I thought you were going to then you would have some summer clothes but since you still only can fit into newborn clothes...we had to do something about it. You would have probably sweat all your precious calories away in your other newborn clothes because all you have are sweats, jackets, long sleeve shirts, pants, and a few onesies.
We went on another walk tonight with my cousin Ben and his wife, Alyssa. I wonder how many miles we've put on that stroller so far? I was telling your Dad yesterday that I love walking so much more now that I have you to come with me. It's so fun to have a little buddy with me wherever I go.
I was looking through some of your pictures and tonight I have been especially loving the ones of you sleeping. I have noticed that you like to have something touching your face while you sleep whether it's a blanket or your hand or a pillow. Anyways here are some of your sleeping pictures that I love so much...
You are such a sweet little girl. I love you so much.
Love forever,
Mom
What an enjoyable day we had today. You are feeling much better so that just automatically made it a good day although your appetite is not quite back to where I would hope. You're only eating about 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 ounces every two hours.
We went shopping for Dad's fathers Day gift. Shh...we can't tell him what it is, it's a secret! And then we came home and picked up your Dad and went to the grocery store. There we bought you a denim jumper, a shirt, and shorts for $8. What a deal! You have been in need of some summer clothes. If you had grown like I thought you were going to then you would have some summer clothes but since you still only can fit into newborn clothes...we had to do something about it. You would have probably sweat all your precious calories away in your other newborn clothes because all you have are sweats, jackets, long sleeve shirts, pants, and a few onesies.
We went on another walk tonight with my cousin Ben and his wife, Alyssa. I wonder how many miles we've put on that stroller so far? I was telling your Dad yesterday that I love walking so much more now that I have you to come with me. It's so fun to have a little buddy with me wherever I go.
I was looking through some of your pictures and tonight I have been especially loving the ones of you sleeping. I have noticed that you like to have something touching your face while you sleep whether it's a blanket or your hand or a pillow. Anyways here are some of your sleeping pictures that I love so much...
You are such a sweet little girl. I love you so much.
Love forever,
Mom
Friday, June 18, 2010
Dear Sydney,
The three of us are sitting down to watch a movie. I love family time like this. You haven't been feeling very well because of your shots so today has been a quiet day. You've been running a fever all day, you've been sleeping quite a bit, you aren't eating very much, and when you're awake you are sad. I feel so bad for you. I don't like to see you sick. I hope you get over this pretty fast because you can't afford to not eat. Your body needs every ounce it can get.
The weather was so beautiful today and you always sleep better in your stroller so we took two walks today. The first walk we went to the park and then met your Dad as he was walking home from school. The second walk all 3 of us walked to the park and played catch. Then, we went and rented a movie and got a snowcone. It was such an enjoyable evening. This is why I love summer.
That's about all I have to say for today. Lets just hope you eat better tomorrow.
All my love,
Mom
The three of us are sitting down to watch a movie. I love family time like this. You haven't been feeling very well because of your shots so today has been a quiet day. You've been running a fever all day, you've been sleeping quite a bit, you aren't eating very much, and when you're awake you are sad. I feel so bad for you. I don't like to see you sick. I hope you get over this pretty fast because you can't afford to not eat. Your body needs every ounce it can get.
The weather was so beautiful today and you always sleep better in your stroller so we took two walks today. The first walk we went to the park and then met your Dad as he was walking home from school. The second walk all 3 of us walked to the park and played catch. Then, we went and rented a movie and got a snowcone. It was such an enjoyable evening. This is why I love summer.
That's about all I have to say for today. Lets just hope you eat better tomorrow.
All my love,
Mom
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Dear Sydney,
You went and saw another doctor today. You must be getting really tired of all this! Today you went to the Pediatrician. Oh how we love our pediatrician! Seriously though...we do. :)
Well we got you on the scale and you weigh a whopping 8 lbs. 9 oz! You are still only in the 5th percentile for weight but you are growing and that is all we care about. Your last weight check was about three weeks ago. So from that time to today you gained a little less than a pound. Your next weight check is next thursday so if we can make the goal that Dr. Judd set for you yesterday (which is to gain 1/2 an ounce everyday) then you should weigh in a little over 8 lbs. 12 oz. As far as height goes, you are in the 47 percentile. And your head is in the 17 percentile. Basically you are just a long, skinny string bean. Dr. Judd says that if you improve over the next month then she will push the surgery back but if you stay the way you are now then surgery will be happening in July/August.
You got your immunizations today. At first I wasn't sure if getting shots was a good idea for you but Dr. Judd said that there is whooping cough in our community so she would rather you get immunized then get the real thing. Fine by me! You've been running a little bit of a fever tonight but baby tylenol has been helping. Well, let me clarify, it's not the real tylenol because that got recalled but the generic brand of tylenol is what we are using.
We are still waiting for the surgeon's office to call and schedule your surgery. They just need to hurry up and call! I hate this waiting game but I think we've gotten pretty good at it.
Tomorrow is Friday. I love the weekends. That means we get to see your Dad more often. We don't have anything fun planned though. We still can't be around a lot of people (Dr. Judd specifally told us that again yesterday) so going to the movies or
going to a restuarant is still out of the question. Some day you'll get to experience those things...just not yet. We usually just end up renting a movie and popping popcorn at home. I actually like it better than going to a movie and we save money so it's really not that bad!
You just fell asleep on your Dad's lap. You look so sweet. I love you. I love you so much it hurts.
Love, Mom
You went and saw another doctor today. You must be getting really tired of all this! Today you went to the Pediatrician. Oh how we love our pediatrician! Seriously though...we do. :)
Well we got you on the scale and you weigh a whopping 8 lbs. 9 oz! You are still only in the 5th percentile for weight but you are growing and that is all we care about. Your last weight check was about three weeks ago. So from that time to today you gained a little less than a pound. Your next weight check is next thursday so if we can make the goal that Dr. Judd set for you yesterday (which is to gain 1/2 an ounce everyday) then you should weigh in a little over 8 lbs. 12 oz. As far as height goes, you are in the 47 percentile. And your head is in the 17 percentile. Basically you are just a long, skinny string bean. Dr. Judd says that if you improve over the next month then she will push the surgery back but if you stay the way you are now then surgery will be happening in July/August.
You got your immunizations today. At first I wasn't sure if getting shots was a good idea for you but Dr. Judd said that there is whooping cough in our community so she would rather you get immunized then get the real thing. Fine by me! You've been running a little bit of a fever tonight but baby tylenol has been helping. Well, let me clarify, it's not the real tylenol because that got recalled but the generic brand of tylenol is what we are using.
We are still waiting for the surgeon's office to call and schedule your surgery. They just need to hurry up and call! I hate this waiting game but I think we've gotten pretty good at it.
Tomorrow is Friday. I love the weekends. That means we get to see your Dad more often. We don't have anything fun planned though. We still can't be around a lot of people (Dr. Judd specifally told us that again yesterday) so going to the movies or
going to a restuarant is still out of the question. Some day you'll get to experience those things...just not yet. We usually just end up renting a movie and popping popcorn at home. I actually like it better than going to a movie and we save money so it's really not that bad! You just fell asleep on your Dad's lap. You look so sweet. I love you. I love you so much it hurts.
Love, Mom
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Dear Sydney,
I have my fingers on the keyboard but I don't really know what to type. I have a lot of mixed emotions about the Doctor appointment today. I guess I'll just start at the beginning.
We sat down in the waiting room and there was a woman there who was holding her baby boy. He was hooked up to a breathing machine. We asked the woman how old her baby was and she said he was three months old. Jordan asked her what kind of heart problem the boy had and she said he was born with an enlarged heart. The doctors had told her when he was born that he wouldn't live to be 3 weeks old. Now he is 3 months old and they are telling her he won't live past the age of 16. Every time I looked at the boy and at the woman my heart broke. It was all I could do to not cry and just give her a hug. What impressed me the most was the mother's strength. She kept saying to me that she decided to just enjoy the time with her son while she had him. You could see the love she had for him in her eyes. She would give him kiss after kiss and hug after hug. Her attitude was remarkable but yet, it was so heart breaking. When they called us back to see the Doc. the woman so happily told us good luck and commented on what a beautiful baby we had. I don't know if I'll ever forget her and her son.
We got into the room and, just like last time, they had us undress you so they could perform an EKG and check your blood pressure. You were so good during the whole
thing. You never cried once. All you did was smile at the nurse even when your arm was being squeezed by the blood pressure cuff and attached to cords all over your body. What a good girl you are.
The doctor came in and asked how you've been doing over the past month. We told her that your appetite has gone down and that when you eat, it takes you about 30 minutes to finish. she noticed that you still weren't very big and asked how much you weighed. She asked if you have been spitting up and we told her yes. We told her how you have been coughing lately but there doesn't seem to be any mucus behind the cough. She asked how much you sleep during the day and we told her about last sunday when you were only awake for a total of 4 hours. She then had me lay you on the bed and she checked your organs, your circulation in your hands and feet, she listened to your lungs and heart, and she watched your breathing.
She then let us hold you again and she told us that she is going to go ahead and schedule surgery for the end of July/beginning of August. She said that all of the things we had told her about earlier were because of your heart. You eat slowly because eating is so exhuasting for you. You aren't gaining weight because your heart is using all of your calories. You cough because there is more congestion in your lungs than ever before. You sleep because of the strain your heart puts on your body. You're breathing is still very strained and that is due to the fluid in your lungs. Because you haven't gotten any better and you are starting to do a little worse is the reason why surgery is now going to happen. She now wants us to meet with the pediatrician once a week to do weight checks. Normal babies should be gaining about 1 ounce a day but her goal is to get you to even gain 1/2 an ounce a day. She said that if we can do that, we are in good shape. She also told me to add more formula to your bottle and do less breast milk. This should help you even more with your weight gain.
Dr. Judd told us to expect to be in the hospital for 7-10 days. The actual surgery itself only takes an hour but you'll be in the operating room for 4 hours. Because they are operating on a baby, they do everything very slowly. Then, after being in the ICU for an hour, we can go and see you. The next day is when we can hold you even though you'll still be connected to a bunch of tubes. Because you're not up to 12lbs. like they wanted you to be the success rate goes down but only a little but. If you were at 12 lbs. it would be a 97% success rate but now it's 95%. I won't complain about that one bit!
As weird as this may seem, your dad and I are almost relieved that surgery is not too far away because once this is over, we can move on and not worry about it anymore. The Dr. says that we will be amazed at the difference we'll see in you after the surgery. She said you will be more active, you will eat more, you won't sleep as much, and your general health will improve. Yes, the surgery is scary. I won't deny that. And I know that I will be the one who needs to be sedated when its time for surgery...not you! But, I really feel like you will be ok. You are a strong little girl who knows how to fight. Heavenly Father is watching over you and so are his angels. All will be well.
We can do this. We love you so much. You have changed us forever.
Love always, Mom
I have my fingers on the keyboard but I don't really know what to type. I have a lot of mixed emotions about the Doctor appointment today. I guess I'll just start at the beginning.
We sat down in the waiting room and there was a woman there who was holding her baby boy. He was hooked up to a breathing machine. We asked the woman how old her baby was and she said he was three months old. Jordan asked her what kind of heart problem the boy had and she said he was born with an enlarged heart. The doctors had told her when he was born that he wouldn't live to be 3 weeks old. Now he is 3 months old and they are telling her he won't live past the age of 16. Every time I looked at the boy and at the woman my heart broke. It was all I could do to not cry and just give her a hug. What impressed me the most was the mother's strength. She kept saying to me that she decided to just enjoy the time with her son while she had him. You could see the love she had for him in her eyes. She would give him kiss after kiss and hug after hug. Her attitude was remarkable but yet, it was so heart breaking. When they called us back to see the Doc. the woman so happily told us good luck and commented on what a beautiful baby we had. I don't know if I'll ever forget her and her son.
We got into the room and, just like last time, they had us undress you so they could perform an EKG and check your blood pressure. You were so good during the whole
thing. You never cried once. All you did was smile at the nurse even when your arm was being squeezed by the blood pressure cuff and attached to cords all over your body. What a good girl you are. The doctor came in and asked how you've been doing over the past month. We told her that your appetite has gone down and that when you eat, it takes you about 30 minutes to finish. she noticed that you still weren't very big and asked how much you weighed. She asked if you have been spitting up and we told her yes. We told her how you have been coughing lately but there doesn't seem to be any mucus behind the cough. She asked how much you sleep during the day and we told her about last sunday when you were only awake for a total of 4 hours. She then had me lay you on the bed and she checked your organs, your circulation in your hands and feet, she listened to your lungs and heart, and she watched your breathing.
She then let us hold you again and she told us that she is going to go ahead and schedule surgery for the end of July/beginning of August. She said that all of the things we had told her about earlier were because of your heart. You eat slowly because eating is so exhuasting for you. You aren't gaining weight because your heart is using all of your calories. You cough because there is more congestion in your lungs than ever before. You sleep because of the strain your heart puts on your body. You're breathing is still very strained and that is due to the fluid in your lungs. Because you haven't gotten any better and you are starting to do a little worse is the reason why surgery is now going to happen. She now wants us to meet with the pediatrician once a week to do weight checks. Normal babies should be gaining about 1 ounce a day but her goal is to get you to even gain 1/2 an ounce a day. She said that if we can do that, we are in good shape. She also told me to add more formula to your bottle and do less breast milk. This should help you even more with your weight gain.
Dr. Judd told us to expect to be in the hospital for 7-10 days. The actual surgery itself only takes an hour but you'll be in the operating room for 4 hours. Because they are operating on a baby, they do everything very slowly. Then, after being in the ICU for an hour, we can go and see you. The next day is when we can hold you even though you'll still be connected to a bunch of tubes. Because you're not up to 12lbs. like they wanted you to be the success rate goes down but only a little but. If you were at 12 lbs. it would be a 97% success rate but now it's 95%. I won't complain about that one bit!
As weird as this may seem, your dad and I are almost relieved that surgery is not too far away because once this is over, we can move on and not worry about it anymore. The Dr. says that we will be amazed at the difference we'll see in you after the surgery. She said you will be more active, you will eat more, you won't sleep as much, and your general health will improve. Yes, the surgery is scary. I won't deny that. And I know that I will be the one who needs to be sedated when its time for surgery...not you! But, I really feel like you will be ok. You are a strong little girl who knows how to fight. Heavenly Father is watching over you and so are his angels. All will be well. We can do this. We love you so much. You have changed us forever.
Love always, Mom
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Dear Sydney,
Tomorrow is the day. You get to go and see Dr. Judd from Primary Childrens. I am so grateful that your appt has finally arrived. It has been a long time coming! I will be sure to tell you what the Doc says and let you know if they give us any idea of when surgery will be happening.
You had a cousin that was born today. Your Aunt Mandi had her little girl earlier this afternoon. I bet you two will be little buddies. I can't wait for the day when you two get to meet each other. She lives in Virgina and you live in Idaho so seeing each other is a little difficult.
We went on another walk today. We walked up to the temple and looked at the flowers
that have so much color, sat on the benches, and watched as people entered and exited. It was so wonderful to just be on temple grounds. It is so peaceful.
You still aren't eating very well today. I hope this changes soon. We'll see what the doctor says about it.
That's about all I have for updates. Our day has been pretty low-key. Tomorrow will be an eventful one...whew, I am nervous just thinking about it.
I love you, Mom
Tomorrow is the day. You get to go and see Dr. Judd from Primary Childrens. I am so grateful that your appt has finally arrived. It has been a long time coming! I will be sure to tell you what the Doc says and let you know if they give us any idea of when surgery will be happening.
You had a cousin that was born today. Your Aunt Mandi had her little girl earlier this afternoon. I bet you two will be little buddies. I can't wait for the day when you two get to meet each other. She lives in Virgina and you live in Idaho so seeing each other is a little difficult.
We went on another walk today. We walked up to the temple and looked at the flowers
that have so much color, sat on the benches, and watched as people entered and exited. It was so wonderful to just be on temple grounds. It is so peaceful. You still aren't eating very well today. I hope this changes soon. We'll see what the doctor says about it.
That's about all I have for updates. Our day has been pretty low-key. Tomorrow will be an eventful one...whew, I am nervous just thinking about it.
I love you, Mom
Monday, June 14, 2010
Dear Sydney,
Walking. That's about what our day consisted of today. We took advantage of such a beautiful day by going on two walks. As always, you loved it.
Yesterday you ate so well. Every bottle we gave you, you would eat it in minutes. Today, on the other hand, has been a different story. You'll eat but you won't eat the full amount of what you normally do. I just really want to get to the Dr. appt on wednesday. I feel like I over analyze everything you do but at the same time, I feel like I HAVE to over analyze or else I might miss a sign that you are doing worse.
You have been perscribed two medicines by the doctor. One helps your liver go back down to size and the other helps your lungs. One of the medicines you take twice a day and it is made up of 11.6% alcohol! This will be the only time in your life that I will be ok with alcohol entering your body! Ha. Sometimes I think you feel a little "loopy" from the medicine. Hopefully you won't have to be on it for too much longer. The other medicine you only have to take once a day and I think it smells like suckers. Yum.
This picture was taken a few days ago at the same time as the pictures in the previous post. I am showing you this one because I think does a good job of showing
how long you've gotten. I think you are going to be one tall little girl! I am anxious to see what percentile you fall into for height. We'll find out on Thursday when you go to see your pediatrician. When it comes to weight you have always been near the 5th percentile range. But we are all hoping that changes soon.
It is getting late and it is time for all of us to go to bed. You especially. I love you little Syd.
Love Always,
Mom
Walking. That's about what our day consisted of today. We took advantage of such a beautiful day by going on two walks. As always, you loved it.
Yesterday you ate so well. Every bottle we gave you, you would eat it in minutes. Today, on the other hand, has been a different story. You'll eat but you won't eat the full amount of what you normally do. I just really want to get to the Dr. appt on wednesday. I feel like I over analyze everything you do but at the same time, I feel like I HAVE to over analyze or else I might miss a sign that you are doing worse.
You have been perscribed two medicines by the doctor. One helps your liver go back down to size and the other helps your lungs. One of the medicines you take twice a day and it is made up of 11.6% alcohol! This will be the only time in your life that I will be ok with alcohol entering your body! Ha. Sometimes I think you feel a little "loopy" from the medicine. Hopefully you won't have to be on it for too much longer. The other medicine you only have to take once a day and I think it smells like suckers. Yum.
This picture was taken a few days ago at the same time as the pictures in the previous post. I am showing you this one because I think does a good job of showing
how long you've gotten. I think you are going to be one tall little girl! I am anxious to see what percentile you fall into for height. We'll find out on Thursday when you go to see your pediatrician. When it comes to weight you have always been near the 5th percentile range. But we are all hoping that changes soon. It is getting late and it is time for all of us to go to bed. You especially. I love you little Syd.
Love Always,
Mom
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Dear Sydney,
You and I both went through two sets of clothes today. Let me just say this, you've got some power! Your Dad hat quite a time changing your diapers today. The minute he'd get done changing one diaper- you'd dirty another! Way to keep him on his toes!
We also gave you a bath today. You love bathtime. Afterwards, we wrapped you in a towel and got you so snuggly and warm. But then, it happened. The spew. All. Over. Me. Yes, I was covered in throw up and you were too. So we got you back in the bath for the second time and you were as happy as could be! I have been trying to figure out why you have been throwing up so much lately and I have noticed that you throw up on the days that you eat a lot. I guess your little tummy just can't handle a whole lot of food.
The doctors don't want us to have you around a lot of people in fear that you might get sick. Because of that, we haven't taken you to church. Dad and I go to church in shifts. When he is at church, I stay home with you and while I am at church, he stays hime with you. Well, today while I was at church, Dad took you for a walk. He
said that you slept the entire way...which I am not surprised considering that you have only been awake for a total of about 3 or 4 hours today. You have been one sleepy girl. Sometimes I worry that you sleep so much because of your heart. Drowsiness is a symptom. But then I try to make myself feel better by telling myself that you are probably just growing and you need your beauty rest.
I am looking forward to your Dr.'s appt on wednesday. As hard as it is to go and hear what they tell us, I get an update on how you are doing and that's what I care about the most. It usually takes me a few days to recover from each of your Dr. appointments. I have to cry it out and process what they tell me and then I am ok. Good thing you don't really know what's going on or you would think that you had one crazy lady as a mom.
Dad and I love having you around. Today we all 3 sat on the couch and laughed at the funny facial expressions you would make. You bring us so much joy. We love you.
Love always and forever,
Mom
You and I both went through two sets of clothes today. Let me just say this, you've got some power! Your Dad hat quite a time changing your diapers today. The minute he'd get done changing one diaper- you'd dirty another! Way to keep him on his toes!
We also gave you a bath today. You love bathtime. Afterwards, we wrapped you in a towel and got you so snuggly and warm. But then, it happened. The spew. All. Over. Me. Yes, I was covered in throw up and you were too. So we got you back in the bath for the second time and you were as happy as could be! I have been trying to figure out why you have been throwing up so much lately and I have noticed that you throw up on the days that you eat a lot. I guess your little tummy just can't handle a whole lot of food. The doctors don't want us to have you around a lot of people in fear that you might get sick. Because of that, we haven't taken you to church. Dad and I go to church in shifts. When he is at church, I stay home with you and while I am at church, he stays hime with you. Well, today while I was at church, Dad took you for a walk. He
said that you slept the entire way...which I am not surprised considering that you have only been awake for a total of about 3 or 4 hours today. You have been one sleepy girl. Sometimes I worry that you sleep so much because of your heart. Drowsiness is a symptom. But then I try to make myself feel better by telling myself that you are probably just growing and you need your beauty rest. I am looking forward to your Dr.'s appt on wednesday. As hard as it is to go and hear what they tell us, I get an update on how you are doing and that's what I care about the most. It usually takes me a few days to recover from each of your Dr. appointments. I have to cry it out and process what they tell me and then I am ok. Good thing you don't really know what's going on or you would think that you had one crazy lady as a mom.
Dad and I love having you around. Today we all 3 sat on the couch and laughed at the funny facial expressions you would make. You bring us so much joy. We love you.
Love always and forever,
Mom
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Dear Sydney,
There is a light in your eyes that is undeniable. I look into them and there is so much hope, trust, and happiness inside of them. Your eyes glitter with joy. Today we were playing on the couch and you were smiling so much. You have become more and more responsive to other people and I love it. I love to see you smile. You are just one little bundle of joy!
You came with me to the craft store today. All of the ladies were commenting on cute you are and how small you are for your age. I wasn't sure if hearing how small you are was something I wanted to hear. Oh well, you'll grow sometime...I hope.
Here is a little video of you as you and I were talking with each other today. This is mainly for the grandmas,aunts, and friends who haven't seen you for a while. Just so you know, today is your 8 week birthday. I can't believe how time flies. I love you, Sydney.
Love always and forever, Mom
There is a light in your eyes that is undeniable. I look into them and there is so much hope, trust, and happiness inside of them. Your eyes glitter with joy. Today we were playing on the couch and you were smiling so much. You have become more and more responsive to other people and I love it. I love to see you smile. You are just one little bundle of joy!
You came with me to the craft store today. All of the ladies were commenting on cute you are and how small you are for your age. I wasn't sure if hearing how small you are was something I wanted to hear. Oh well, you'll grow sometime...I hope.
Here is a little video of you as you and I were talking with each other today. This is mainly for the grandmas,aunts, and friends who haven't seen you for a while. Just so you know, today is your 8 week birthday. I can't believe how time flies. I love you, Sydney.
Love always and forever, Mom
Friday, June 11, 2010
Dear Sydney,
I love days like today. Today was a day where there was nothing new to worry about. You are eating well, sleeping well, and not crying as if something is bothering you. I feel like everyday I wear an invisible backpack. There are days when there is something new I worry about like your doctor's appt next week or your liver and lungs and those worries add a new weight to my bag. But today-no new weights were added!
We've had a good day. We took a walk up to campus and met up with Dad for lunch. It felt so good to have the sun out. You haven't been able to enjoy the outdoors much due to crummy weather but today you felt what it was like to have the sun keep you warm instead of multiple layers of blankets.
We then came home and took a nap together on the couch. Your dad even joined in on nap time. I loved it. Our life here is simple and that is why I will miss it so much when we move.
There are so many memories here. It is where your Dad and I met, where we graduated from college, lived for 5 years, it is where we found out you were coming into our lives, and its where we have our first memories with you. It will be fun to start another chapter in life especially now that you are in it.
I hope to have another day like this tomorrow where I realize that life is simple and beautiful. That realization is up to me. We decide our own happiness, Sydney. Happiness is a choice. I have to remind myself that everyday. You make life so much easier to enjoy. I love you.
Love always, Mom
I love days like today. Today was a day where there was nothing new to worry about. You are eating well, sleeping well, and not crying as if something is bothering you. I feel like everyday I wear an invisible backpack. There are days when there is something new I worry about like your doctor's appt next week or your liver and lungs and those worries add a new weight to my bag. But today-no new weights were added!
We've had a good day. We took a walk up to campus and met up with Dad for lunch. It felt so good to have the sun out. You haven't been able to enjoy the outdoors much due to crummy weather but today you felt what it was like to have the sun keep you warm instead of multiple layers of blankets. We then came home and took a nap together on the couch. Your dad even joined in on nap time. I loved it. Our life here is simple and that is why I will miss it so much when we move.
There are so many memories here. It is where your Dad and I met, where we graduated from college, lived for 5 years, it is where we found out you were coming into our lives, and its where we have our first memories with you. It will be fun to start another chapter in life especially now that you are in it. I hope to have another day like this tomorrow where I realize that life is simple and beautiful. That realization is up to me. We decide our own happiness, Sydney. Happiness is a choice. I have to remind myself that everyday. You make life so much easier to enjoy. I love you.
Love always, Mom
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Dear Sydney,
I woke up this morning and realized that I never told you how your last appointment went. You went to Dr. Moore's office on May 27 so they could weigh you. The Dr. just wants to make sure that you are gaining weight. You weighed in at 7 lbs. 10 oz. which is definitely an improvement from your appointment 21 days before that when you were at 6 lbs. 13 oz. You're still a small baby but at least you are a growing baby...that's all I ask for. All the nurses kept commenting on how long and thin you are. You're like a little string bean. Very tall but not much meat on your bones.
You will be 8 weeks old on Saturday. Dr. Womack (another cardiologist) said that you would start to show the side effects from your heart defect between 8-12 weeks. Considering your liver and lungs have already been effected, I don't know what else is left. Well, I take that back. I do know what else is left I just don't want it to happen. Sweating as if you just got done running, panting, chronically cold hands and feet, less movement of your legs and arms, weight loss...these are all symptoms that I pray you will never have to endure.
On a lighter note- you love music. If you are ever a little fussy, I will turn some music on and you calm down. You listen to The Beach Boys, Journey,piano music, Disney songs, Carrie Underwood, Andrea Bocelli, Van Halen...basically a little bit of everything. You are already such a well-rounded girl. Ha ha.
Once again, I love you. I frequently catch myself staring at you. What does life have in store for you? Whatever it is, you are a fighter. You can do anything.
Love, Mom
This is you when you were 1 day old...
This is you at 6 weeks old. You've gotten so long!
I woke up this morning and realized that I never told you how your last appointment went. You went to Dr. Moore's office on May 27 so they could weigh you. The Dr. just wants to make sure that you are gaining weight. You weighed in at 7 lbs. 10 oz. which is definitely an improvement from your appointment 21 days before that when you were at 6 lbs. 13 oz. You're still a small baby but at least you are a growing baby...that's all I ask for. All the nurses kept commenting on how long and thin you are. You're like a little string bean. Very tall but not much meat on your bones.
You will be 8 weeks old on Saturday. Dr. Womack (another cardiologist) said that you would start to show the side effects from your heart defect between 8-12 weeks. Considering your liver and lungs have already been effected, I don't know what else is left. Well, I take that back. I do know what else is left I just don't want it to happen. Sweating as if you just got done running, panting, chronically cold hands and feet, less movement of your legs and arms, weight loss...these are all symptoms that I pray you will never have to endure.
On a lighter note- you love music. If you are ever a little fussy, I will turn some music on and you calm down. You listen to The Beach Boys, Journey,piano music, Disney songs, Carrie Underwood, Andrea Bocelli, Van Halen...basically a little bit of everything. You are already such a well-rounded girl. Ha ha.
Once again, I love you. I frequently catch myself staring at you. What does life have in store for you? Whatever it is, you are a fighter. You can do anything.
Love, Mom
This is you when you were 1 day old...
This is you at 6 weeks old. You've gotten so long!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Dear Sydney,
Last night I went to bed with throw up on my shirt and poop on my shorts. You are turning me into a real mother...at least that's what your Dad tells me. The thing is-little miss Syd- I wouldn't trade getting my clothes dirty because you exploded through your diaper or spewed everywhere for anything. If this is what you did to me everyday I would still love you more than words can say. You are such a treasure.
You have an appointment with the cardiologist a week from today. Her name is Dr. Judd. She is a Doctor from Primary Childrens Medical Center who comes up to Idaho Falls two times a month to meet with children like you who need a little extra TLC. I wonder what she'll tell us this time. Has your liver gone back down to normal size? Has the blood drained out of your lungs? Is the hole in your heart miraculously beginning to close on its own? Or are things taking a turn for the worst? Will she tell us that surgery is just around the corner? Or will she tell us that things have just stayed the same? My heart hopes for the best but I also have to prepare myself for the worst.
It is difficult to make my mind go to the places that are hard to think about. But I know that it is necessary. I have to force myself to look for the blessings that could come from any of the possible outcomes. Let me tell you, Heavenly Father blesses us more than we recognize. Blessings are everywhere- even if the blessing feels like the curse.
Your heart defect has been a "blessed curse" for me. It has caused me more worry and sorrow than I could have imagined but at the same time it is changing me and the way I look at life and other people. (Except for the time yesterday when I got a little bit of road rage while driving to the store...drivers these days...ha ha.) No, but really, you have put things into perspective for me. Family is what matters. Being a good friend is what matters. Love is what matters. Our family has been truly blessed. So many people have reached out to us and shown us their love by and through prayer, service, and even sometimes through a good ol' hug. I keep thinking about something I have learned in church multiple times. God usually answers our prayers through the use of other people. People have been sent to me to answer my prayers perhaps without them even knowing it. Thank you.
So many people love you, Sydney. They are cheering for you. It takes a village to raise a child.
All my love, Mom
P.S. The computer isn't letting me upload any pictures. I'll keep trying and post some later...if I can.
Last night I went to bed with throw up on my shirt and poop on my shorts. You are turning me into a real mother...at least that's what your Dad tells me. The thing is-little miss Syd- I wouldn't trade getting my clothes dirty because you exploded through your diaper or spewed everywhere for anything. If this is what you did to me everyday I would still love you more than words can say. You are such a treasure.
You have an appointment with the cardiologist a week from today. Her name is Dr. Judd. She is a Doctor from Primary Childrens Medical Center who comes up to Idaho Falls two times a month to meet with children like you who need a little extra TLC. I wonder what she'll tell us this time. Has your liver gone back down to normal size? Has the blood drained out of your lungs? Is the hole in your heart miraculously beginning to close on its own? Or are things taking a turn for the worst? Will she tell us that surgery is just around the corner? Or will she tell us that things have just stayed the same? My heart hopes for the best but I also have to prepare myself for the worst.
It is difficult to make my mind go to the places that are hard to think about. But I know that it is necessary. I have to force myself to look for the blessings that could come from any of the possible outcomes. Let me tell you, Heavenly Father blesses us more than we recognize. Blessings are everywhere- even if the blessing feels like the curse.
Your heart defect has been a "blessed curse" for me. It has caused me more worry and sorrow than I could have imagined but at the same time it is changing me and the way I look at life and other people. (Except for the time yesterday when I got a little bit of road rage while driving to the store...drivers these days...ha ha.) No, but really, you have put things into perspective for me. Family is what matters. Being a good friend is what matters. Love is what matters. Our family has been truly blessed. So many people have reached out to us and shown us their love by and through prayer, service, and even sometimes through a good ol' hug. I keep thinking about something I have learned in church multiple times. God usually answers our prayers through the use of other people. People have been sent to me to answer my prayers perhaps without them even knowing it. Thank you.
So many people love you, Sydney. They are cheering for you. It takes a village to raise a child.
All my love, Mom
P.S. The computer isn't letting me upload any pictures. I'll keep trying and post some later...if I can.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Dear Sydney,
Today is your Dad's birthday. He turned 25 today. You helped me this morning as we made him an omelette for breakfast and wrote him
notes about reasons why we loved him. You are one lucky girl to have him as a dad. Right before we sent him off to school, the three of us danced to "Happy Birthday" by New Kids on the Block. It's a tradition that got started at Grandma Moon's house when all of her kids were little and we aren't about to let the tradition die...even if the song is a little cheesy! You must have thought the dance was boring though because the minute we started dancing you fell asleep. :)
I told you yesterday that I would tell you about how we were led to Dr. Moore. So, here you go- When we found out we were having a baby I debated whether I should deliver you at Madison Memorial Hospital which is only 5 minutes away from our house or go down to Idaho Falls at EIRMC. For various reasons I decided to deliver at EIRMC (Miracle #1). So I found a Dr. who would deliver there and her name was Dr. Huggins. She is the doctor that delivered you. You were born on an early Saturday morning (miracle #2) at EIRMC. Dr. Moore just happened to be on-call that weekend (he rotates on-call shifts with two other doctors) and he spent a lot of time with you and listening to your heart.
The next morning after you were born he came in and told us that he picked up on a very quiet heart murmur that was almost impossible to hear (miracle #3) and that it should go away within the day. Well, a day went by and it never went away. Then the next morning he came in very early with a shirt and tie on (it was clear he was on his way to church) and he apologized for coming in so early but he had some meetings to get to. He just wanted to tell us that he felt strongly to have an Echocardiogram done on your heart (miracle #4) even though you weren't showing any other signs of a heart defect other than a murmur. Murmurs, by the way, are very common with babies. So the Echo was done and they discovered a 6 mm hole within the two ventricals of your heart. Sydney, I truly believe Dr. Moore had the spirit with him that day. Something told him to pay closer attention to you and that's what he did. I don't know if any other doctor would have been so careful with you at that time. He explained to us that the bigger the hole in a heart, the harder it is to hear because the pressure going through the hole is smaller. If the hole in your heart was small then it would have been a very loud sound because the pressure is a lot greater. That is why it was so difficult to pick-up on your defect because your hole is very large. Heavenly Father led us to that doctor and I am forever grateful.
You threw up everywhere this morning. I never knew so much stuff could come out of you. I hate it when you spit up like that because I want you to keep every ounce of food in your body that you possibly can. You have a hard time gaining weight. I don't know if that is because of your heart defect or not. But because you don't gain weight very easily I have tried to make eating easier on you by not having you nurse anymore. Instead I pump my milk and feed it to you in a bottle and then I add 1 1/2 ounces of formula to every single one of your bottles. I have noticed a difference in your weight gain. You are growing much faster now and your cheeks are starting to fill out. You still can only fit into your newborn clothes though. Your 0-3 month clothes are still very big on you. I love to watch you eat. You have your own personal cheerleader as you eat... I am always telling you to keep going, just a little more, eat baby eat, etc. I just want you to be as healthy as possible when it is time for you to go in for surgery.
I love you. Your Dad loves you. I love your Dad. I hope you know that. I hope you can feel the love that surrounds you every day.
Love, Mom
Today is your Dad's birthday. He turned 25 today. You helped me this morning as we made him an omelette for breakfast and wrote him
notes about reasons why we loved him. You are one lucky girl to have him as a dad. Right before we sent him off to school, the three of us danced to "Happy Birthday" by New Kids on the Block. It's a tradition that got started at Grandma Moon's house when all of her kids were little and we aren't about to let the tradition die...even if the song is a little cheesy! You must have thought the dance was boring though because the minute we started dancing you fell asleep. :)I told you yesterday that I would tell you about how we were led to Dr. Moore. So, here you go- When we found out we were having a baby I debated whether I should deliver you at Madison Memorial Hospital which is only 5 minutes away from our house or go down to Idaho Falls at EIRMC. For various reasons I decided to deliver at EIRMC (Miracle #1). So I found a Dr. who would deliver there and her name was Dr. Huggins. She is the doctor that delivered you. You were born on an early Saturday morning (miracle #2) at EIRMC. Dr. Moore just happened to be on-call that weekend (he rotates on-call shifts with two other doctors) and he spent a lot of time with you and listening to your heart.
The next morning after you were born he came in and told us that he picked up on a very quiet heart murmur that was almost impossible to hear (miracle #3) and that it should go away within the day. Well, a day went by and it never went away. Then the next morning he came in very early with a shirt and tie on (it was clear he was on his way to church) and he apologized for coming in so early but he had some meetings to get to. He just wanted to tell us that he felt strongly to have an Echocardiogram done on your heart (miracle #4) even though you weren't showing any other signs of a heart defect other than a murmur. Murmurs, by the way, are very common with babies. So the Echo was done and they discovered a 6 mm hole within the two ventricals of your heart. Sydney, I truly believe Dr. Moore had the spirit with him that day. Something told him to pay closer attention to you and that's what he did. I don't know if any other doctor would have been so careful with you at that time. He explained to us that the bigger the hole in a heart, the harder it is to hear because the pressure going through the hole is smaller. If the hole in your heart was small then it would have been a very loud sound because the pressure is a lot greater. That is why it was so difficult to pick-up on your defect because your hole is very large. Heavenly Father led us to that doctor and I am forever grateful.
You threw up everywhere this morning. I never knew so much stuff could come out of you. I hate it when you spit up like that because I want you to keep every ounce of food in your body that you possibly can. You have a hard time gaining weight. I don't know if that is because of your heart defect or not. But because you don't gain weight very easily I have tried to make eating easier on you by not having you nurse anymore. Instead I pump my milk and feed it to you in a bottle and then I add 1 1/2 ounces of formula to every single one of your bottles. I have noticed a difference in your weight gain. You are growing much faster now and your cheeks are starting to fill out. You still can only fit into your newborn clothes though. Your 0-3 month clothes are still very big on you. I love to watch you eat. You have your own personal cheerleader as you eat... I am always telling you to keep going, just a little more, eat baby eat, etc. I just want you to be as healthy as possible when it is time for you to go in for surgery.
I love you. Your Dad loves you. I love your Dad. I hope you know that. I hope you can feel the love that surrounds you every day.
Love, Mom
Monday, June 7, 2010
Dear Sydney,
Yes, this picture is a crack up. I LOVE your face! It's as if you are sayingto me "NO! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!" Oh, my sweet little girl. I'm sure we'll have many of these types of moments in the future. Oh boy...
This morning was a tender morning for me. Often times throughout the night I would wake up and look at you (I convinced your Dad to let you sleep in our bed because I don't worry as much if I have you right next to me) and think how beautiful you are. What a true blessing you are to our family. You have changed our lives forever even though you have only been in it for 7 weeks. Everyday I worry about you. Are you breathing ok? Are you eating as much as you usually do? The doctors tell me to watch to see if you start sweating so I am constantly feeling your forehead and temperature to make sure that everything is normal. So far, so good. I get nervous for the day that you do start to show signs of struggle and I pray every day that I will know what to do when that day comes.
I hope you know how much your Dad loves you. He always offers to change your diaper (even if it's a stinky one) and he loves to feed you. The minute he walks in the door from school he takes you away from me so he can hold you for a while. He'll always tell you how much he misses you while he's away. He talks to you about the things he wants to teach you and how beautiful he thinks you are.
As I type this you are sleeping on the couch. You fell asleep while eating your bottle so you have milk running down your cheeks. Don't worry, you still look cute. I am so glad that you have continued to eat normally. I worry that the day will come when your appetite will go down and that will mean that surgery is not too far away.
Sometimes though I wish the surgery would come sooner than later because then the worrying would be over. I also want it to come sooner because I don't want you to be able to realize what is going on. I don't want you to be 
afraid of the Doctors, the tests, and I mainly don't want you to be afraid for the day when they take you away from me and Dad to do the surgery. I think it will be easier on me if I know that you aren't scared. Thinking of the day you'll have surgery is a difficult thought for me. I can't think about it without crying. I just want you to be ok.
afraid of the Doctors, the tests, and I mainly don't want you to be afraid for the day when they take you away from me and Dad to do the surgery. I think it will be easier on me if I know that you aren't scared. Thinking of the day you'll have surgery is a difficult thought for me. I can't think about it without crying. I just want you to be ok. My prayers have changed. I now pray for the doctors that work with you. I thank Heavenly Father for the doctors' education, their steady hands, and the motivation they had to stick through medical school. I pray that as they work with you, that they will be inspired just like Dr. Moore was inspired to have an echocardiogram done on you even though it seemed as if nothing was wrong. He told us he just had a feeling that he needed to do this test. I am eternally grateful for that man. I consider the whole process of how we were led to that Doctor a miracle. I will tell you that story tomorrow since I have already written too much already.
I love you more than words can ever say. Love, Mom
P.S.......
Yes, this picture is a crack up. I LOVE your face! It's as if you are sayingto me "NO! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!" Oh, my sweet little girl. I'm sure we'll have many of these types of moments in the future. Oh boy...
Bless her little heart
These next two posts are copied and pasted from my other blog. For those of you who don't know the details about Sydney's condition these two posts will get you up-to-date on just about everything.
I'm taking advantage of Sydney's nap time to give you an update on how she is doing. We went to the Pediatric cardiologist from Primary Childrens last wednesday and like always, it's a little scary. By the time we pulled up to the hospital my stomach was in my throat and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to walk through the doors. I was so nervous. We got up to the cardiovascular center of the hospital, checked in, and waited for our turn to see the Dr. While we were waiting, we met the nicest people. One woman asked if our daughter had a heart problem too and my answer was yes. At that moment I felt like I was in a dream. I never thought that I would find myself in the position where I had to take my daughter to a heart specialist and talk with other families who's kids have heart problems. I felt like I had entered into a whole other world of worry and yet so much support from these other families. It was like we were all sitting in the waiting room cheering each other on and being the positive reinforcement that we all so desperately needed.
Our turn came and they instantly had us undress Sydney so they could hook her up to an EKG. They just wanted a reading on her pulse to see if was steady. Once that was over, the Dr. came in. She listened to Syd's heart, felt around her tummy to see if she had any enlarged organs, listened to her lungs, and tested her blood circulation. After the Dr. had finished her assessment she asked us what we knew about VSD. We told her what other Dr.'s had told us and she filled in the cracks by answering ALL of the questions we had which seemed to be a lot. She told us that Sydney's hole was very large and that surgery was still most-likely needed unless, by some miracle, the hole closes itself but being that the hole is so large they don't think it will. She said that because of the hole, Syd's liver is becoming enlarged and it is beginning to sink inside her body. She also told us that her lungs have a lot of blood in them and it is causing her to have to work extra hard to breathe. By the time to Dr. was done talking tears were rolling down my face. I was so grateful Jordan was there with me because he was the strong one who held all of us together.
Fortunately, with the medication the Dr. prescribed for Syd, her liver should go back down to size and come back to where it should be and her lungs will not put as much strain on her breathing. How grateful I am for modern medicine! The Dr. told us that they like babies to be over 12 lbs before they do the surgery because then the babies have more fat on their little bodies and surgery won't be quite as hard on their bodies. She said that after the surgery, Syd will spend 3-4 days in the NICU and then 7-10 days after that in just a regular hospital room. And that by the time we leave the hospital, Syd should be almost fully recovered. Amazing! The surgery has a 97% success rate. At Primary Children hospital they do this exact surgery 700 times a year! That just goes to show you how common this heart defect really is. We still don't know for sure when she'll have surgery. As long as she continues to grow- they are going to postpone the surgery as long as possible. But if and when she starts to plateau or fall in weight is when they would perform the surgery. So really, its just one big waiting game.
We are so blessed to have a daughter who, despite her heart, is still very healthy and happy. She is a ray of sunshine and has so much light in her eyes. We are still grateful for every prayer that is said in our behalf. We know that we are being watched over. Thank you all for your love and support.
I'm taking advantage of Sydney's nap time to give you an update on how she is doing. We went to the Pediatric cardiologist from Primary Childrens last wednesday and like always, it's a little scary. By the time we pulled up to the hospital my stomach was in my throat and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to walk through the doors. I was so nervous. We got up to the cardiovascular center of the hospital, checked in, and waited for our turn to see the Dr. While we were waiting, we met the nicest people. One woman asked if our daughter had a heart problem too and my answer was yes. At that moment I felt like I was in a dream. I never thought that I would find myself in the position where I had to take my daughter to a heart specialist and talk with other families who's kids have heart problems. I felt like I had entered into a whole other world of worry and yet so much support from these other families. It was like we were all sitting in the waiting room cheering each other on and being the positive reinforcement that we all so desperately needed.
Our turn came and they instantly had us undress Sydney so they could hook her up to an EKG. They just wanted a reading on her pulse to see if was steady. Once that was over, the Dr. came in. She listened to Syd's heart, felt around her tummy to see if she had any enlarged organs, listened to her lungs, and tested her blood circulation. After the Dr. had finished her assessment she asked us what we knew about VSD. We told her what other Dr.'s had told us and she filled in the cracks by answering ALL of the questions we had which seemed to be a lot. She told us that Sydney's hole was very large and that surgery was still most-likely needed unless, by some miracle, the hole closes itself but being that the hole is so large they don't think it will. She said that because of the hole, Syd's liver is becoming enlarged and it is beginning to sink inside her body. She also told us that her lungs have a lot of blood in them and it is causing her to have to work extra hard to breathe. By the time to Dr. was done talking tears were rolling down my face. I was so grateful Jordan was there with me because he was the strong one who held all of us together.
Fortunately, with the medication the Dr. prescribed for Syd, her liver should go back down to size and come back to where it should be and her lungs will not put as much strain on her breathing. How grateful I am for modern medicine! The Dr. told us that they like babies to be over 12 lbs before they do the surgery because then the babies have more fat on their little bodies and surgery won't be quite as hard on their bodies. She said that after the surgery, Syd will spend 3-4 days in the NICU and then 7-10 days after that in just a regular hospital room. And that by the time we leave the hospital, Syd should be almost fully recovered. Amazing! The surgery has a 97% success rate. At Primary Children hospital they do this exact surgery 700 times a year! That just goes to show you how common this heart defect really is. We still don't know for sure when she'll have surgery. As long as she continues to grow- they are going to postpone the surgery as long as possible. But if and when she starts to plateau or fall in weight is when they would perform the surgery. So really, its just one big waiting game.
We are so blessed to have a daughter who, despite her heart, is still very healthy and happy. She is a ray of sunshine and has so much light in her eyes. We are still grateful for every prayer that is said in our behalf. We know that we are being watched over. Thank you all for your love and support.
An update on the Family
Although we are home from the hospital, we are not done seeing doctors. A few days after Sydney was born she was diagnosed with what is called VSD (ventrical septum defect). This is the most common heart defect babies are diagnosed with...that's what they tell me at least. The morning after Sydney was born, her pediatrician came into our room and told us that he detected a heart murmur. He said that he wanted us to stay at the hospital for a few days longer because he wanted to keep an eye on her heart. He said that he thought she would be fine because most baby's heart murmurs will disappear within a few days. Well, after a few days her murmur was still there. So on Sunday morning her pediatrician came in and told us that he ordered an Ecocardiogram to be done on her heart (It's basically an ultrasound) because her murmur hadn't gone away, nor was it getting any better.
The test was sent to Boise where there is a Pediatric Cardiologist who was qualified to diagnose the problem. The results came back and that's when we found out that Sydney has VSD. VSD means that Sydney has a hole in-between the two ventricals of her heart. SO- the same blood that has already been oxygenated is just going in a big circle in her heart and is never being pumped to the rest of her body, which causes her heart to have to work harder than normal. The size of her hole is large enough to where the doctors don't think it will be able to fix itself. They think that most likely Sydney will need surgery because if it is not corrected then Syd will eventually have an enlarged heart and effect her way of life.
When I first heard this news I cried more tears than I thought possible. But as I have learned more about this defect, the more I am put at ease. As scary as open-heart surgery may seem, this surgery is extremely common and very succesful. We have been referred to a Doctor from Primary Childrens Medical Center who specializes in these types of surgeries and we meet with her on May 12. She comes to Idaho Falls two days out of every month which is great for us because driving down to Salt Lake every month would have gotten a little expensive. Until then, we do what the doctor says and we keep Sydney inside and away from any risk of her getting sick. Because her heart is already over-working itself, the last thing we want to do is make it work even harder.
This has been a hard pill to swallow but through it all, Jordan and I know that everything will be ok. Sydney will be all right. Knowing that so many people are praying for us is very humbling and it has strengthened our family immensley. Its hard to believe that this is something our family has to deal with. You always hear of these types of things happening to other people and to have it actually happen to you is...well...I don't have a word for it. Regardless, we know that the Lord is watching over us and that prayers are being said in our behalf in many places. Thank you, everyone, for keeping us in your thoughts. Jordan and I have felt them. Heavenly Father watches over his little children- this I am sure.Now to end with a smile, here is a picture of my little lady...
The test was sent to Boise where there is a Pediatric Cardiologist who was qualified to diagnose the problem. The results came back and that's when we found out that Sydney has VSD. VSD means that Sydney has a hole in-between the two ventricals of her heart. SO- the same blood that has already been oxygenated is just going in a big circle in her heart and is never being pumped to the rest of her body, which causes her heart to have to work harder than normal. The size of her hole is large enough to where the doctors don't think it will be able to fix itself. They think that most likely Sydney will need surgery because if it is not corrected then Syd will eventually have an enlarged heart and effect her way of life.
When I first heard this news I cried more tears than I thought possible. But as I have learned more about this defect, the more I am put at ease. As scary as open-heart surgery may seem, this surgery is extremely common and very succesful. We have been referred to a Doctor from Primary Childrens Medical Center who specializes in these types of surgeries and we meet with her on May 12. She comes to Idaho Falls two days out of every month which is great for us because driving down to Salt Lake every month would have gotten a little expensive. Until then, we do what the doctor says and we keep Sydney inside and away from any risk of her getting sick. Because her heart is already over-working itself, the last thing we want to do is make it work even harder.
This has been a hard pill to swallow but through it all, Jordan and I know that everything will be ok. Sydney will be all right. Knowing that so many people are praying for us is very humbling and it has strengthened our family immensley. Its hard to believe that this is something our family has to deal with. You always hear of these types of things happening to other people and to have it actually happen to you is...well...I don't have a word for it. Regardless, we know that the Lord is watching over us and that prayers are being said in our behalf in many places. Thank you, everyone, for keeping us in your thoughts. Jordan and I have felt them. Heavenly Father watches over his little children- this I am sure.Now to end with a smile, here is a picture of my little lady...
Here goes nothin'
I am doing it. I am starting the blog that has been in my head for a few weeks now. This blog is the story of my daughter, Sydney. As you will read in my next post, Sydney has a heart defect that will most likely require open-heart surgery. It will be about her progress, her struggles, mine and Jordan's struggles as we try to help her, what her days are like, and most importantly-the miracles, big or small, that occur in our daily life.
I believe that my daughter was born with this heart defect for a reason. Sydney is too young to know what is going on in her body right now so I do not believe that this trial is for her. This trial is for Jordan and me. We are supposed to learn from this experience so I am using this blog as a way to write my thoughts, fears, worries, and joys that come as we help our daughter heal. I am not good at expressing my feelings through speech- I've always done better at writing. That's why writing this blog will be so good for me. There are days when I feel like I have so many different emotions that Iam going to explode and fortunately a blog will keep me from doing that! Lucky for you.
You are welcome to read this blog even if I've never met you! I will be writing on it everyday. Feel free to make comments, tell your own story, laugh, judge me on my mothering, or to just cry. If there is one thing I am learning through this whole thing its that it is ok to cry. Many people have had to tell me that over the past 7 weeks and I think I am now starting to believe them.
I believe that my daughter was born with this heart defect for a reason. Sydney is too young to know what is going on in her body right now so I do not believe that this trial is for her. This trial is for Jordan and me. We are supposed to learn from this experience so I am using this blog as a way to write my thoughts, fears, worries, and joys that come as we help our daughter heal. I am not good at expressing my feelings through speech- I've always done better at writing. That's why writing this blog will be so good for me. There are days when I feel like I have so many different emotions that Iam going to explode and fortunately a blog will keep me from doing that! Lucky for you.
You are welcome to read this blog even if I've never met you! I will be writing on it everyday. Feel free to make comments, tell your own story, laugh, judge me on my mothering, or to just cry. If there is one thing I am learning through this whole thing its that it is ok to cry. Many people have had to tell me that over the past 7 weeks and I think I am now starting to believe them.
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