Dear Sydney,
Just a quick update before we go to bed. You are doing so well. You are hooked up to more tubes and cords imaginable but you are hanging in there. We are so thankful for the incredible amounts of faith that was shown in our behalf. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Tomorrow they should be able to remove the breathing tube. Woo hoo! We are hoping that we can hold you tomorrow too! All I want to do is hold you and let you know that we are around you but we can't. Your sternum and incision are too fragile right now.

The surgeon said he was surprised you lasted this long. Your hole was a lot bigger than what they originally thought. Heart failure was not far away. We are so grateful your surgery happened when it did.

I promise to write more after we have had some sleep. There is so much I want to tell you. But let me just say this.... we believe in miracles.

Love you forever,
Mom

Dear Sydney,
Well, you are in surgery as we speak. Here in the waiting room there is wi-fi and I need something to pass the time so here I am...typing on the blog. I didn't think I was going to be able to get on the internet so I had asked my sister, Mandi, to update the blog for me. I was happy to find out that I could use my computer...it helps keep my mind busy.

They just informed me that the incision has been made and all is well. We'll get another update at 10 am.

This morning we arrived at PCMC at 6:00 this morning. We waited in the waiting room for about twenty minutes until they called us back. They weighed you, measured you, listened to your heart, all the fun stuff. Then they gave you these sweet little scrubs to wear while you were in surgery. I hope we get to take them home. It would be a good little keep-sake. After that we met the surgeon. His name is Dr. Caza. What an impressive man! He saw that I was crying and he sat down by me, put his hands on my knees, and told me that you were going to be ok. He took us through the whole process of what he was going to do and how he was going to do it. I'll share those details with you later. Then we met with the anesthesiologist (I have no idea how to spell that word) who explained to us what he is going to do during the entire surgery. He told us about each tube that he will put in you and what type of anesthesia he will be using. He then walked us down the hall and had us say our goodbyes. We then placed you in his arms and you walked away.

Dad and I walked down the hall after you left and cried for a few minutes. It was hard to let you go but it was what needed to happen.

We just got another update. You are now hooked up to the heart-lung machine and the surgeon has began to patch up you heart. You are still doing well.

Grandpa Moon found us here in the waiting room so he is hanging out with us. Grandpa Hessing is not to far away either. He is almost here to come and wait with us too.

Here are some pictures of you. The ones where you are just in your diaper were taken last night as some "before" pictures. In a few weeks I will take some "after" shots. The other pictures are of you in your cute little scrubs. I love them.

So many people are praying for you today. I can feel it. I will be sure to write more as the days go on.











I love my little girl.
Love, Mom

Dear Sydney,



You are continuing to feel better and better. Which makes us feel better too. We were so worried. Tomorrow kicks-off the start of your big week. Just typing those words made my stomach turn. We are going to drive as far as Twin Falls tomorrow night and stay with my grandma just to break up the trip a little bit. That way it won't feel quite so long. Then Monday morning we'll leave in time to get you to PCMC for your Pre-op. At this Pre-op they will perform a physical, do blood work, and a chest x-ray. Thankfully we don't have to starve you this time! But unfortunately we won't be able to feed you Monday night because you can't have anything in your stomach for the surgrey.

You are a sweet girl with a beautiful, contagious, radiant smile. I am so excited to have a little girl who I can't keep up with. I am excited for when you have so much energy I am completely exhausted by the end of the day. I can't wait for you to give us a run for our money. I want you to start rolling, to reach for things, to be able to hold your head up better, and to be able to eat more than 3 ounces without getting tired. It is so easy to take our good health for granted. We don't realize how blessed we are to have healthy bodies until we don't have it anymore. It is definitely something to be grateful for.

So many prayers are with you this week Sydney. There is so much support- more than what we realize. "Never let your praying knees get lazy."

All my love,
Mom

Dear Sydney,
We took you to your new pediatrician today. His name is Dr. Roy. The reason why your Dad liked him was because he went to medical school at University of Washington. What made me like him was that he did his residency at PCMC. Then we both really liked him when we met him. We have been blessed with such wonderful doctors.

Anyways, he checked you out and listened to your lungs, looked at your ears, felt your organs...you know...the works. You don't have a fever! You don't have an ear infection! The mucus hasn't gone to your lungs! So basically you just have a mild cold. He said that he didn't think they would cancel your surgery over this because it isn't that bad. Phew! What a sigh of relief! We feel so blessed to know that you'll most likely be able to have this surgery on tuesday. That is, of course, if you don't get any worse. It seems today that you are getting better. You can actually lay on your back without crying because you can't breathe and you sleep SO MUCH BETTER! Thank heavens!

I forgot to mention that while you were at PCMC earlier this week they weighed you and you came in at 10 lbs! This means that you gained 3 oz. throughout the past week. Good girl.

We are so grateful that you seem to be feeling a little better. We are just as grateful to those of you who have been praying for our little girl. We love her so much.

We can't wait for you to be 100% healthy- heart and all! We love you little Syd!
Love, Mom

Dear Sydney,
The exact thing that we have been trying to avoid these past few months has happened. Two mornings ago you woke up with a stuffy nose. I talked to the cardiologist about it and she said that as long as it is only a stuffy nose then they will go ahead with surgery. If the stuffy nose turns into something else, however, then I need to call her back and tell her. Sore throat, fever, or cough are all things that we are hoping to avoid. Today, I am thinking that you have an ear infection. First thing in the morning I am calling your pediatrician to get you into the dr and have them check you out.

With your surgery only being 5 days away I can't help but obsessively pray that this goes away before monday. Monday is when they do the blood tests to check your white blood cell count to make sure you are good and healthy. The last thing we want is for them to cancel the surgery. We are so close! If they were to cancel it, they would re-schedule the surgery for 3 weeks later.

Your health is more important to me than anything so if we need to push it back- that's ok. But we have prepared ourselves mentally for this to happen on Tuesday and I think it just might send me to the looney bin if it doesn't. But then again...I think this whole thing has already sent me to the looney bin so maybe its too late.

You don't sleep. We were awake with you for about 5 hours last night. We are exhausted and so are you. We can't lay you on your back or else you cry because it's hard to breathe so that means we either have to prop you up with pillows or just hold you. It is so hard to watch you struggle even more than you already do.

All those readers out there- I know we have asked a lot from you. But, if you could just add to your prayers a plead for Sydney's good health. Prayers work. He is listening. We are so grateful for you and your faith.

If you only knew how many people watch over you, Sydney. You are loved. Especially by me.

Love, Mom

Dear Sydney,
As you get older and learn how to express how you feel you will learn that there is a fault in the English language. The problem with our language is this: we do not have words that can correctly describe the deepest and most heartfelt emotions. So when I say that "words cannot describe" how I feel...I truly mean it. Yesterday was one of those days where there are no possible words that can describe what an incredible experience we had at PCMC. I am going to do my best to describe it but just know that however wonderful it may sound...it was actually 100 times better than that.

It all started at 3:30 that Tuesday morning. I had set my alarm clock to wake you up and feed you at that time because you had to be hungry to eat again at 7 a.m. (the dr. said you couldn't have formula past 7 am). So we fed you at 3:30 and you ate the whole thing. Then, your Dad set his alarm clock to wake us up at 4:45 so we could begin to get us out the door. We got the car packed while you slept and then we put you in the car and were out the door by 5:30 am. You slept until about 6:45 and then, like magic, you woke up and ate your usual 3 oz and then another 1/2 oz. You never do that! After you ate you went back to sleep and slept until about 10:15. We then fed you pedialyte until 11 am rolled around. Your tummy was full...at least for now.

We pulled into the hospital around 11:30. We still had a half hour to kill until we needed to check in so we decided we would give ourselves a tour of PCMC. Walking up to the main entrance I thought to myself, I can't believe this is us. I can't believe we have to do this. We came through the doors and the minute we step foot on the hospital floor, a hush came over me and your Dad. The only way I know how to describe it is telling you that it was as if we were stepping on holy ground. Dad and I commented later that we both felt like we were walking by unseen gaurdian angels when we came through the doors. It was powerful. The feeling was peaceful. I was emotional. We were both so grateful. You were going to be ok.

The time came to check-in. I was afraid that at this point in the day you were going to be screaming out of starvation but no, you were smiling and calm. We were both so grateful. The nurses were incredible. Before the test started they went through and explained what each cord was for, what the machines did, what the numbers on the machine meant, what the nurses themselves were going to do, etc. It was so wonderful. You were even given a blanket that was yours to keep! It is a fleece blanket that is green and pink with dogs on it. While they were putting the IV in you, you smiled. All you did was give a little squeek and then you were fine. What a tough girl you are. The sedation only made you relax. You never actually fell asleep which is exactly what they wanted. It was easier on us too.

The test took about an hour and we got to sit in on the whole thing and watch. The test was called an Echocardiogram. AKA an "Echo". All an echo is is an ultrasound of the heart. They take picture after picture after picture of every nook and cranny of your heart.

Afterwards the nurse,Paige, wrapped you up in your new blanket and she picked you up and held you so tight. She always commented on what a sweet girl you were and how well you behaved. She held you for a while. She gave you so much love. Then we set you on your bed and wheeled you over to the recovery room while we waited for you to wake up from your sedation. Once you were awake they wanted you to drink 3-4 oz of sugar water and then we could go. Here is a picture of the 3 of us while we were in the recovery room with you.







You are such a fighter! The Cardiologist called back with the results from the test and we learned something new. They discovered 2 other holes in your heart other than the one we already knew about. When they told me that, my heart sank. But before I had time to be too sad about it Dr. Judd told me that the holes were small enough that they wouldn't affect you. These 2 holes will close on their own. And even if they didn't close she would still have no problems because of them. The other hole, the one that is causing all this trouble, has not begun to close so the surgery is still going to happen.

We love PCMC. The feeling there was incredible. Seeing the other children there is quite emotional but also very tender. The parents walking by you give you encouraging smiles because they are going through the same thing we are. Its like everyone there depends on eachother for something positive...even if its just a smile.

Our constant prayers had been answered as we anticipated this day. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I'm glad we have a better idea of what to expect for next week. It puts our fears at ease. We love you more than words can describe.

Love, Mom

Dear Sydney,
The time to your surgery is getting closer. I think yesterday was the first day that I started to get that nervous feeling in my stomach when I think about it. It used to feel like the surgery was so far away so I wouldn't get too worked up about it but now I am realizing that it is next week. And that realization has caused a great pit to make itself at home inside my stomach.

You are doing well. The only thing that has gotten worse lately is your congestion. When you sleep it sounds like you have a bunch of gunk in your lungs. It would be easy to mistake your breathing for snoring but when you really listen, you can tell that it is congestion. It is very sad to hear but in a little over a week's time- it will all be better.

We leave early tuesday morning and drive down to Utah. We have to be at the hospital at noon. We'll come back to Boise the next day. If I don't write a post on Tuesday, that is why. I'll be sure to write as soon as I am at a computer to let you know how you did.

You are asleep in your Dad's arms right now. It is very sweet. I hope you sleep better tonight than you did last night!

I love you...even if you don't always allow us to sleep at nights.
Love, Mom