Dear Sydney,
As you get older and learn how to express how you feel you will learn that there is a fault in the English language. The problem with our language is this: we do not have words that can correctly describe the deepest and most heartfelt emotions. So when I say that "words cannot describe" how I feel...I truly mean it. Yesterday was one of those days where there are no possible words that can describe what an incredible experience we had at PCMC. I am going to do my best to describe it but just know that however wonderful it may sound...it was actually 100 times better than that.

It all started at 3:30 that Tuesday morning. I had set my alarm clock to wake you up and feed you at that time because you had to be hungry to eat again at 7 a.m. (the dr. said you couldn't have formula past 7 am). So we fed you at 3:30 and you ate the whole thing. Then, your Dad set his alarm clock to wake us up at 4:45 so we could begin to get us out the door. We got the car packed while you slept and then we put you in the car and were out the door by 5:30 am. You slept until about 6:45 and then, like magic, you woke up and ate your usual 3 oz and then another 1/2 oz. You never do that! After you ate you went back to sleep and slept until about 10:15. We then fed you pedialyte until 11 am rolled around. Your tummy was full...at least for now.

We pulled into the hospital around 11:30. We still had a half hour to kill until we needed to check in so we decided we would give ourselves a tour of PCMC. Walking up to the main entrance I thought to myself, I can't believe this is us. I can't believe we have to do this. We came through the doors and the minute we step foot on the hospital floor, a hush came over me and your Dad. The only way I know how to describe it is telling you that it was as if we were stepping on holy ground. Dad and I commented later that we both felt like we were walking by unseen gaurdian angels when we came through the doors. It was powerful. The feeling was peaceful. I was emotional. We were both so grateful. You were going to be ok.

The time came to check-in. I was afraid that at this point in the day you were going to be screaming out of starvation but no, you were smiling and calm. We were both so grateful. The nurses were incredible. Before the test started they went through and explained what each cord was for, what the machines did, what the numbers on the machine meant, what the nurses themselves were going to do, etc. It was so wonderful. You were even given a blanket that was yours to keep! It is a fleece blanket that is green and pink with dogs on it. While they were putting the IV in you, you smiled. All you did was give a little squeek and then you were fine. What a tough girl you are. The sedation only made you relax. You never actually fell asleep which is exactly what they wanted. It was easier on us too.

The test took about an hour and we got to sit in on the whole thing and watch. The test was called an Echocardiogram. AKA an "Echo". All an echo is is an ultrasound of the heart. They take picture after picture after picture of every nook and cranny of your heart.

Afterwards the nurse,Paige, wrapped you up in your new blanket and she picked you up and held you so tight. She always commented on what a sweet girl you were and how well you behaved. She held you for a while. She gave you so much love. Then we set you on your bed and wheeled you over to the recovery room while we waited for you to wake up from your sedation. Once you were awake they wanted you to drink 3-4 oz of sugar water and then we could go. Here is a picture of the 3 of us while we were in the recovery room with you.







You are such a fighter! The Cardiologist called back with the results from the test and we learned something new. They discovered 2 other holes in your heart other than the one we already knew about. When they told me that, my heart sank. But before I had time to be too sad about it Dr. Judd told me that the holes were small enough that they wouldn't affect you. These 2 holes will close on their own. And even if they didn't close she would still have no problems because of them. The other hole, the one that is causing all this trouble, has not begun to close so the surgery is still going to happen.

We love PCMC. The feeling there was incredible. Seeing the other children there is quite emotional but also very tender. The parents walking by you give you encouraging smiles because they are going through the same thing we are. Its like everyone there depends on eachother for something positive...even if its just a smile.

Our constant prayers had been answered as we anticipated this day. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I'm glad we have a better idea of what to expect for next week. It puts our fears at ease. We love you more than words can describe.

Love, Mom